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Welcome to the Alt.Guides

Latest update: 1 October 2012


Parliament is a serious place, and the Palace of Westminster and constituency offices are filled with hard-working, dedicated professionals engaged in the important business of running the country.  Yet even the most committed need time for rest and recuperation, space to kick back and unwind, and opportunities to take a sideways look at their workplace, employers and even their political masters.

This is the place for staff who are looking for something less serious and rather more entertaining than the average guide to best practice.

We hope you enjoy these guides as much as we do.

The Guides

'Party Games'
Party Games - a political thriller by Westminster staffer, E J Greenway 26 September 2012

'Sally's diary'
Don't panic! - Sally's guide to taking your MP out for the day 24 January 2012
A cuckoo in the duck island 16 November 2011

'Livia's Diary'
Chapter Four - May the Pasty Be With You 10 April 2012
Chapter Three - Valentine's Day Massacre 2 March 2012
Chapter Two - Who You Gonna Call? 15 December 2011
Chapter One - Trench Warfare 24 October 2011

'Jenny's' guides
 
Researchers Should Be Seen and Not Heard 24 May 2012
A Lords Love Story....and Monorail 1 March 2011
A quiet Christmas wish - Dr Who is back at Westminster! 21 December 2010
Something strange in the constituency.... 13 October 2010
Food glorious....how much? 27 August 2010
Murder Mystery Hangover 10 August 2010

'Harper Pepperswitch's' guides
 
To the constituency and beyond. The revenge of Jim Poole MP? 29 December 2010
HP's 2010 Conference Diary 20 October 2010
Seven Symptoms of Recess 14 September 2010
Parliamentary events: what to do and how not to do it 13 July 2010
Protesters, Pugin and Port - Harper's first day in Parliament 7 June 2010

'Dean Trench's' guides
 
Dean Trench revisited 27 May 2011
Dean Trench 1979 - 2010    R.I.P.
24 March 2010
How to carry bags at Party Conference   or   How to keep the boss sweet and manage the madness 8 September 2009
You may be in a political drama if.... - Hot new guidance from our own Dean Trench 4 August 2009
What kind of MP do you work for? - A reference guide for bag-carriers 1 July 2009
Handling the Media - what you've always wanted to know about the Fourth Estate but were afraid to ask 16 June 2009
The Ten Commandments - if they were written by bag-carriers for MPs 26 May 2009
Where angels fear to tread - A guide to managing your MP’s new enthusiasm for the internet 1 April 2009
The top ten most annoying things your MP will do - A guide for March 18 March 2009
He's just not that into you - A guide to love and loss when working for an MP 26 February 2009
The Six Stages of Bag-carrying 14 November 2008
Organising a Meeting in Parliament 22 October 2008
The Conference Season Cometh 28 September 2008
Tips and Hints for Recess 30 July 2008
Dropping a Clanger: surviving the fallout 29 May 2008
Ten Phrases Every Bag-Carrier Needs to Fear 29 April 2008
Bag-carriers translated 28 February 2008
What Kind of Intern Are You? 28 January 2008
Bag-carriers on strike!  16 October 2007
MP Translator: What they say, what you are supposed to hear. Updated: 7 October 2007
Your First Ten Days: the bag-carrier's guide 3 September 2007
 

'Clare Romney's' guides
 
10 things you should NEVER let your Member of Parliament do - Part Three:
The Things that are just mad, bad and wrong!		 16 June 2008
10 things you should NEVER let your Member of Parliament do - Part Two:
Your MP’s brilliant ideas to raise their profile – what every bag-carrier needs to fear.		 21 January 2008
10 things you should NEVER let your Member of Parliament do - Part One:
Helping’ out with things that are clearly beyond them.		 26 November 2007

Hoby's cartoons
An occasional cartoon about life as a bag-carrier Latest: 1 October 2012
The W4MP 2009 Advent Calendar  1-24 December 2009

Other guides of an altguide-ish persuasion
Parliamentary Assistant - The Truth Will Out! 19 March 2012
Favourite Parliamentary Moment of 2011 19 December 2011
12 months in a constituency office; in a cupboard with snow-shoes, street-lights & election frenzy - by PR 18 January 2010
12 months at Westminster; the obstacle course - by HU 2 January 2010
A researcher's guide to speechwriting - by 'Joe Connor' 12 January 2009

Got your own ideas?

If you'd care to add to the pile of stuff to read, do get in touch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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